Is FEAR Holding You Back?
Some people avoid setting goals because they fear failure. Often, that fear becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Still others fear the changes that may result from actually achieving their goals. For these people, “dreams that do come true can be as unsettling as those that don’t,” says comedian Brett Butler in her bestseller Knee Deep in Paradise .
An example of this is Maya who dreamed for years of returning to university to finish her Master of Business degree. But Maya refused to turn her daydream into an actual goal. “Then I would have to do it and I don’t know how I’d feel about being a 50-year old with all of the 20-somethings,” she says. “Also, my family would have to fend for themselves more and my husband wouldn’t be too happy with that.”
Maya’s “yes but” list goes on and on. She doesn’t fear failure; she expects it. What she really fears is success because it will change her life and take her out of her comfort zone. In Maya’s mind, giving up on her dream is a small price to pay for maintaining family harmony. The question is: can a family be truly harmonious if one member has to pay such a high price?
There are many “what ifs” that might happen when we set goals, but that’s all they are. Everything we do in life is cause and effect, after all. I believe if my intentions are good and my goals are aligned with my values, I will accomplish my goals. I can’t let fear of what might happen stop me. “In order to succeed,” says comedian and actor Bill Cosby, “your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”
Excerpt from 'LifeManual' by Peter H. Thomas. www.lifemanual.com. Copyright 2005, 2006. All rights reserved.
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