It's Up to You

There is a famous Zen koan — a question posed to stimulate the mind into enlightened modes of thinking — that asks, “When you can do nothing, what can you do?” Some people will tell you that you have no choices. Others will try to control your choices by offering you up the menu of options they have created for you. They’ll ask you to decide between the devil and the deep blue sea, or a rock and hard place. As Grateful Dead frontman Jerry Garcia wisely said, “Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.” Life should not be reduced to the equivalent of a multiple-choice questionnaire.

The same people who talk about choosing the lesser of two evils could well be the people who talk about having to “make hard choices.” In my experience, this can be a euphemism for lack of creativity. “If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable,” writes Stephen R. Covey, “you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise.”

When you make choices based on your values, you’ll find that making the right decisions is easier than you expected. You won’t feel compromised or sacrificed because everything you do, every choice you make, will be within the goal posts of your values. How can it be wrong to say no to a risky investment if financial stability is what you value most? How can it be wrong to say no to joining a 7 a.m. business gathering if your daily morning jog is a vital part of valuing your health?

By knowing and abiding by your values, you’ll begin to live by your own agenda instead of the agenda of others. You’ll also begin to understand how it is really you — and not the people around you — who limit your choices the most. Again, your attitude will determine your options. Keep your attitude positive and your options will open.

Excerpt from 'LifeManual' by Peter H. Thomas. www.lifemanual.com. Copyright 2005, 2006. All rights reserved.

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